So, Coronavirus, amirite? It’s been a shitty two months for just about everybody worldwide, but here we are still largely staying in our houses and trying our best to comply with wildly inconsistent advice from experts, politicians, and friends on how to stay safe.
Lately, as the tedium of full-time stay-at-home life has really hit home, just about every news organization has run some version of the article fun and interesting quarantine date ideas.
Except, they’re basically all horrible. So, here, let me correct that for you, and give you some better quarantine date ideas instead.
Idea 1: Take a Virtual Cooking Class and/or Cook a Meal Together!
As suggested by: Self Magazine
Reality: one of you, likely the one who is either a better cook and/or planner has been doing a shit ton of cooking lately already. Others have turned to stress baking. Everyone is lamenting the fact that you have to do dishes like 20 times a day. Why would you want to cook MORE? Particularly something complicated and elaborate? And don’t even get me started about the likelihood that you’ll actually manage to successfully get all the ingredients via your curbside or delivery grocery service at the moment.
What to do instead: find a restaurant (preferably one that hasn’t yet re-opened its dining room to the public), order takeout (from the restaurant directly, delivery services take a 30% cut), and go eat it somewhere you don’t usually eat…like in your actual formal dining room on the fancy china like we did above, or in your car overlooking a nice view, or in a (hopefully) uncrowded park. If all the parks by you are crowded, consider going to the “campus” of a large tech company in your area. They often have great outdoor areas and nobody’s going to be there!
Idea 2: Go see a Drive-In Movie!
As suggested by: Los Angeles Times
Reality: Unless you live out in the boonies, you’re probably not all that close to a drive-in movie theater, as most major cities got rid of theirs years ago. There are 3 within a two-hour drive for us, but you can’t “reserve” a spot at any of them in advance, and so you risk driving for two hours only to be told they’re out of spots. Not to mention that any movie actually worth watching got released direct-to-digital or had its premiere pushed back a few months, so you won’t exactly have your pick of great films.
What to do instead: just watch Netflix, or your favorite streaming service du jour. You invested all that money in a comfy couch and a nice sound system, may as well use it. If you want to make it “special,” consider setting up a theme night – coordinate your dinner to go with the movie: e.g. spaghetti for Lady and the Tramp, shrimp & a box of chocolates to go with Forrest Gump, cheeseburgers (er…Royales with Cheese) to go with Pulp Fiction. If you wanna go big time, you could even dress up like your favorite characters.
Idea 3: Virtually Explore a Museum or Cultural Attraction Together!
As Suggested By: New York Times
Reality: I mean, sure, have at it. But if this manages to keep you entertained for more than like 15 minutes, you have superhuman-like powers of focus. Most of these collections and things were available online before quarantine, and you didn’t spend any time paying attention to them then, so why would you now?
What To Do Instead: Take on a DIY home improvement project together. One of the more exciting moments of our isolation so far was when we bought a hedge trimmer. Researching the hedge trimmer, excitedly waiting for it to arrive, assembling it, and then using to actually trim the hedges! Pretty wild, I know. Be prepared that the more in-depth the project you choose, the more likely this will also result in one or more arguments, but that’s just the fun of DIY projects. Next weekend we’re rebuilding a toilet!
Idea 4: Attend a Virtual Wine-Tasting!
As Suggested By: Smithsonian Magazine
Reality: Yeah, so we tried one of these. In theory, it’s a great idea. Here’s the problem: winemakers are not experts at Zoom and/or whatever other conferencing tool they’re using. And neither are the other folks tuning in for the broadcast. If you’ve been working from home, I want you to take however many time you’ve had to say “can everyone mute if you’re not talking?!” or “I think you’re on mute, Jim” or “sorry, can you repeat that, you cut out a bit?” and multiply that by like 10. That’s a virtual wine tasting.
What To Do Instead: Host an around-the-world pub crawl in your own house. Put different cocktail ingredients in each room, add some thematic music or a tv show from the respective “country” in each room to match the cocktail, and then visit each room and go get schnockered. Not convinced yet? This was the theme of the party in which I met the hubby, lol.
Idea 5: Do a Workout Together!
As Suggested By: Glamour
Reality: Sure, I think we could all stand to burn a few extra calories given the amount of stress snacking (and drinking) this current situation has brought on, but unless you and your spouse are at the exact same fitness level, this seems designed to promote annoyance and arguments. Whether it’s one of you gasping for breath while the other bops along like the workout is no big deal, or trying to find a way to gently “correct” your partner’s form, this just seems like the opposite of fun.
What To Do Instead: Use your workout time as alone time to get away – completely away – from the other. Even the most codependent relationships could benefit from a little alone time. Give your spouse the gift of 30 minutes to themselves while YOU go work out. So that they can watch their guilty pleasure show or take a bath or just be by themselves for a second. Seriously.
So, there ya go. Don’t become a quarantine divorce statistic, and don’t fall for a stupid quarantine date idea that will end up just making you more stressed out. If you have other ideas, throw ’em in the comments!
